Identification

In this episode, the Carers NSW Young Carer team discusses the journey of identifying with a young person who cares for her sister, and chats about the hidden nature of caring among young people as well as how receiving support can help a young carer look after their own wellbeing.

For support as a young carer, check out Carer Gateway or call 1800 422 737 to find out what’s available in your local area. Carer Gateway is a national model of carer support, and available to any carer across Australia.

The Carers NSW Young Carer Program can also assist young carers living in NSW find the right support for them. Contact the Young Carer team by calling 02 9280 4744 during business hours, or email yc@carersnsw.org.au. 

Subscribe to the Carers NSW Young Carer Program monthly YC eNews to stay up to date with opportunities and updates from the team, and follow the Carers NSW Young Carer Program on Facebook.

Transcript

Natalie:

Hi, and welcome to YC Bytes-

Sarah:

YC Bytes.

Natalie:

... a podcast series by Carers NSW, where we shine the light on young carers.

Sarah:

Young carers are children and young people, 25 years and under, who help care for someone living with a disability, mental illness, drug or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness, or who is frail. Young carers can be supporting or caring for one person or multiple people. This can include parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, or even friends.

Natalie:

Carers NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians, countries, and language groups of New South Wales on which we all live, learn, and work. We are recording this podcast on the lands of the Gorualgal people of the Eora nation. We acknowledge the wisdom of elders past and present and pay respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities of today.

Natalie:

In this podcast series, we'll be speaking with different guests on why it's important for us to acknowledge and celebrate this group of young people, explore some of the barriers of getting through school and work while helping look after someone, and starting the conversation about accessing supports and services. At this point, we would like to recognize the expertise of young people in New South Wales with lived experience of caring and their incredible contribution to the work we do. A big shout-out to the young carers who will be helping us develop this podcast over the coming months.

Sarah:

Today, we'll be talking about young carer identification and we'll hear from a young carer who shares her lived experience. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, we hope you enjoy and take something away from this episode.

Natalie:

My name is Natalie. I'm a cat mum, I enjoy arts and crafts, and my pronouns are she/her.

Sarah:

And my name is Sarah. I'm a social worker, a dog lover, and my pronouns are also she/her.

Natalie:

We are from the Carers NSW Young Carer Program, and we have a focus on raising awareness of young carers in the community. No two days ever look the same for us. We can be chatting with young carers, meeting with service providers, facilitating workshops, or creating resources, just like this podcast.

Sarah:

So let's start this first episode by painting a picture and setting the scene. We want you to imagine a group of young people who go through life supporting others, always being available to help out when they can, but in turn, might miss out on things such as hanging out with their friends, spending time traveling, going on holidays, and getting a job. We recently had a cool opportunity to chat with Devika, who spoke about her journey identifying as a young carer and her experience accessing support.

Can you please introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about who you care for?

Devika:

My name is Devika, I'm 21 years old, and I look after my older sister who has intellectual disability.

Sarah:

Can you tell us a little bit about the support you provide your sister?

Devika:

So when I was younger, it was more emotional support and just assisting the family around the house, things like that. Nowadays, it's kind of evolved as I've grown older, and now it's a lot of transport, a lot of personal hygiene-related things, as well as a lot of the housework I take on.

Sarah:

And when did you start caring for your sister?

Devika:

I can't really give you a definitive answer because as my older sibling, it's kind of just been a normal part of me growing up. So ever since I could really do anything or help around the house, I've been helping.

Sarah:

So what has your experience been like with identifying as a young carer? Do you remember a time where someone had a chat with you about this and introduced you to the concept, or has it always kind of been a part of your life?

Devika:

To be honest, ever since I was seven or eight, I kind of heard the term, but I didn't really understand what it meant. It's not a term that I really connected with, especially because my role was not as big as it is now. There was a huge gap in being like, "Am I really a young carer? Am I really doing that much?" This is part of my normal life, especially because she was older. This is something that I grew up with. So I thought this was quite normal actually. So it was only when I started going to school when I realised I'm quite different in that regard and I was doing things my peers weren't, that I really started to kind of think about a young carer. But yeah, it was only in the last couple of years as I've grown older that I've really started to embrace the role.

Sarah:

And was there a time where you felt you didn't want to be connected to the term or label or you felt like you didn't want to identify as a young carer?

Devika:

Yes. Even now there is still a kind of hurdle for me to connect myself to being a young carer, even though I'm well aware I am. I think it's just the term. Putting a label on something kind of makes it very definitive. But for me, having grown up thinking of this as normal and not really realising it until I was in school that I was quite different to my peers and I was doing things my peers weren't, it's on my mind always, that self-doubt of whether I am a young carer or not. I think it also comes down to the fact that I, for a very long time, hid the fact that I was doing all this caring role.

Sarah:

So what helped you connect with the term or come to terms with identifying as a young carer?

Devika:

I think a lot of it came down to the fact that I hid a lot of my caring role. Growing up, my whole primary school years, no one really knew I had a sister. And even in high school, I didn't really reveal it. It wasn't until my very late years of high school that I really took the chance with some really close friends and told them that I had a sister who was living with a disability. So it was a very long process for me. And it's a lot to do with trust as well. There's always a fear at the back of my mind that whoever I reveal it to will kind of take it the wrong way. And it's not about necessarily hurting me as such, it's hurting my sister. It's the biggest worry for me. It's not necessarily what everyone says about me because my focus is all about making sure my sister is safe.

Sarah:

Yeah. I think considering the person that you care for can definitely be a factor when, or even if you decide to talk to someone about your caring role. In your experience, was not sharing this part of your life a decision you made before you were even aware of the term young carer?

Devika:

I'll say that this whole hiding situation was not like a, "Oh, I know I'm a young carer, so I'm going to hide it," kind of thing. It was mainly from the immediate realisation that, "Okay, my sister, there are some differences in her." The things that I was doing were very different from my peers and it was a kind of, "Let's hide it away so that I could be accepted," kind of thing. Social isolation for me was a huge problem growing up because I would hide half my personality in order to try and fit in, but yet I didn't feel any satisfaction in that because I was not showing who I was fully. So it wasn't necessarily a conscious decision, but as the term of a young carer was floated around, it just became more solidified, that's who I am. And that part of me is the one that's being hidden.

Sarah:

So how has identifying as a young carer helped you? Have you been able to access more supports or received extra help at school or uni?

Devika:

So, definitely having that label as a young carer has very much helped me, especially when I was in my senior years of high school. I was struggling a lot, unfortunately, trying to balance this kind of home life, school life where I was trying to finish the HSC. And identifying as a young carer was not, to the school at least, was not something I really considered until I got to a point where I was struggling a lot, impacting my own physical health as well. So by being able to tell a few trusted teachers and then from there being able to get in-school support, so adjustments to classwork, homework, assignments, putting in an application to extra bonus points and things like that have really helped me be able to access university. So in terms of identifying, especially in high school, it was super valuable and it really helped me focus on my own health and wellbeing, which is something that, before that, I put to the corner of the room and didn't really think about until it got too much.

Sarah:

How did you know where to go to for support at uni? Was there information shared with you or did you have to do your own research?

Devika:

I don't know if it's just, because I'm studying health I don't know if it's just because of that, but it was made well aware. In the very first classes of the year, they would announce, "If you need support, go to the Student Centre and talk to these guys about it."

Sarah:

So I just want to go back to you getting support at school. What helped you navigate that conversation? Did you know who you needed to speak with at the time?

Devika:

The first person I kind of offhandedly revealed it to was a teacher who I had known for years who I gotten really close to. She was more of a mentor to me. And it took me about four and a half years to reveal it to her, and bless her, she was amazing in that she got me in touch with the wellness officer at the school.

Sarah:

That's awesome you were able to find someone at school that you felt comfortable enough to talk to. It sounds like from what you've been sharing is that your journey identifying as a young carer hasn't always been super straightforward-

Devika:

It's never that straightforward. And it's a constant state of flux. You take a step being like, "I am a young carer, I will do this, this, this. I'll get help." And then in a bit, you're like, "Do I really identify? Do I really need these supports?" And the question as well, "Do I deserve these supports?" is another question that's raised because for me, at least, self-doubt of my role and who I am as a person and whether or not I connect with this identity was such a big part of this whole identification process that it was in a constant state of, "Do I identify? I identify. I don't really identify." And yeah, it's been that kind of flux process.

Sarah:

What's something you'd like our listeners to remember from our chat today?

Devika:

There's two parts to this. So as a young carer, understanding that you're not alone. There are many, many hundreds, thousands of young carers around New South Wales and Australia who are in that role of a young carer, even if they don't necessarily identify as a young carer. And for people who aren't really young carers but are looking to get more informed about young carers, just being understanding, being open, and being just there. It's not necessarily about, "What supports do you need? What do you need? I'll do everything for you," kind of situation. But being there as a support person that someone can reach out to. Just being there to listen and accept everything as is and not judge anyone on what's going on is the most important thing for us because all we want to do is be accepted for who we are.

Natalie:

There are lots of different things that young carers might be doing to help the person they care for. And this is a bit of a spectrum. So it might change depending on how old they are and at what point in their life they're up to.

Sarah:

You might remember Devika spoke about how her caring role has changed over the years and how she now assists her sister with personal care and transport. We often hear young carers are helping out around the house by doing things like the grocery shopping, preparing meals, and cleaning. Some young carers may even help out with giving medication, attending medical appointments, or simply being a good listener, all while studying and working.

Natalie:

We know it definitely can be a juggle for some young carers to manage these aspects of their life as well as their caring role. And their caring responsibilities might have an impact on them as they may experience challenges with their education or even their own health and wellbeing. In today's episode, we want to try our best to help this group of young people recognise what they are doing and let them know that there is support available.

Sarah:

So we often talk about young carers being a hidden group of people. This could be because they might not identify as carers or they're not recognised as carers by their family members, the school they go to, or even some service providers.

Natalie:

Thinking about young carers not identifying, what do we think are some of the common reasons for this?

Sarah:

For some young carers, they may feel like they're just fulfilling a family duty or they might feel that they're not the main person providing the care because they share the caring responsibilities with other family members. And sometimes they're a little bit worried that people will treat them differently or they might even treat their family or the person that they care for differently.

Natalie:

We do know that some policies in health and community services, in addition to some of maybe the attitudes and practices of workers in these spaces, can impact on young carers receiving support as well. Some young carers feel that they are not recognised by health professionals and service providers. And for those young carers, it might be that they're being excluded from discussions about the condition of the person they care for as well as the treatment plan for this person as well.

Sarah:

I guess an important question to ask ourselves is why identify? Supporting a young person identify as a young carer can help them put supports in place to achieve their goals and potentially avoid crisis. There are a range of carer supports available, and I guess if you don't know that you're a carer, you most likely wouldn't see yourself to be eligible to access those services. If you’re a young carer, or you know a young carer who needs practical support, you can call Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737.

Natalie:

If you'd like to learn more about the carer supports that exist for young carers in New South Wales, check out the episode notes on this episode and feel free to give us a call at Carers NSW if you have any questions.

Natalie:

Thanks so much for joining us today. We hope you have found this conversation interesting. It was great to chat about the journey of identifying as a young carer and how receiving support can help a young carer to look after their own wellbeing.

Sarah:

We invite you to think about the young people you know in your life and reflect on what we've heard Devika share with us today. Next time you think you're chatting with someone who might be a young carer, have a go at starting the conversation, see how they're going, and ask how you can best support them.

Natalie:

Stay in touch with our team by connecting with us on social media. Search 'Young Carers at Carers NSW' on Facebook or like and follow Carers NSW on Instagram. We'd love to hear from you.

Join us next episode to hear from another young carer who will speak about their experience at school and learn a little bit about how we can continue to help young carers achieve their highest potential.

Natalie:

The Young Carer Program at Carers NSW provides information and referral support to young carers across the state and the professionals, educators, and community members who support them. The program was developed to make a positive difference to the lives of young carers and their families. If you are a young carer or if you know a young carer, the Young Carer Program can provide support through linking them in with practical supports that meet their needs, such as other services and programs, providing information to young carers, parents, and other stakeholders through our monthly YC eNews, developing resources to raise awareness of young carers in the community, and delivering professional development and other information sessions to help raise awareness of young carers in schools, universities, and organisations. For more information, check out www.carersnsw.org.au.